Pretending . . .

So I am in the process of heading out to spend Thanksgiving with my cousins. I haven't seen them in several years. As children we would get together 2 or 3 times a year and play, hang out and do all the things that kids that age do. Mostly we would pretend to be older. Nothing amazing. All kids do that. They try and create a world that they are the grown-ups in and then they spend hours trying to emulate what adults do in their world. They brag, have nice cars, ride horses, go out to dinner, have a wife/husband, raise pets, dress children, etc. They even create a crisis or two just to shake things up.

I just got off the phone with my cousin. I am now just old enough to run for president and he is a year older. He and his wife have been married a few years longer that my wife and I have. We both have 4 kids each. He owns his own maintence business and his wife is in school for nursing. I do what I do and my wife is a stay at home mom. We have our pets. We have our hobbies. We go out to dinner. And we even have our own share of crisis from time to time.

But, as we were chatting I got this feeling of . . . pretending. Like when we were kids. We make decisions and do things often times as we were taught watching our parents. We love getting together because our parents modled that too.

We get to do all the things we did so many years ago but we do it for keeps now. There is no time to clean up our toys and come down for dinner. There is no changing the story as we go. There is no reset button. We are now living. Like our parents did . . . We are living but it still seems like we are playing house. We are still figuring things out as we go.

There is still much to ponder about all of that. But one thing revealed itself that has started to bring comfort. (It isn't too comforting living life not knowing what you are doing.) If we are feeling this now that means that our parents must have felt it too. And perhaps they still do feel it. Everyone acts like they know what they are doing. But perhaps everyone feels like they are just as clueless as we are. We are all wanderers together.

What's my point? There isn't one yet. I guess it will be like watching the movie "Sixth Sense". It will all make sense in the end. And when we look back on it all we will see how it all fits together.

In the mean time, I am learning to be content pretending . . . sort of. Meaning, living life as I go. Seeking guidence from my God, friends and family. Watching folks "pretend" right along with me. It is nice to know I am in good company

Take it . . .